Haiyore! Torpedo chan!

edited June 2016 in General
No, this is not about an animu series, but it is indeed about animu. As some people here know (the ones that participated), we've kinda started playing this curious Kancolle RPG using Tabletop Simulator online. So far, it's been Kerlc, Tankman, Jalern and me as the GM.

What is this game about, you may ask, well, you could say it's a curious, simple, animu D&D game of shorts. In this game, the players take on the role of ship girls (either from the stock characters or custom) and join the fleets of a Naval Base in order to fight the Abyssal Fleet that intends to put an end to humanity. Besides battles they also get to do animu stuff and what not, of course.

You are probably wondering why am I writing this here, well, the point is... It was actually pretty fun, even if I was just the GM, it was pretty fun and so I wanted to share the adventures of the fleet with everyone here. Maybe to make other also have fun, or maybe just embarras the players and have them marked as weebs forever.
And ever.

Now then, with the topic introduction out of the way, it's time to introduce the whole Naval Base (its name was decided by using a random name generator in the game rulebook, fleet name too).

And so, welcome to:



A Naval Base commanded by Admiral Yuri:
A woman who accepted this job simply to stare at shipgirls and who asked specifically for this Naval Base the moment she saw its name. A woman that cares more about doujins than tactics. A woman that will avoid strategy meetings for the chance of peeking--- You get the idea.

But this rather curious admiral has the help of Nagato (an actual Kancolle character), who acts as her secretary and first ship of the Base:

(Those are all the NPCs currently in the game, there will be more, of course.)

And now, for the players' fleet, the...

This is the fleet to which the player shipgirls belong, the current members being:

Tankman playing as Yuubari, the Instakilling Light Cruiser
(An actuall Kancolle shipgirl, and one of the most useful ones it seems.)

Kerlc playing as Lady Roberta Dicksalot, the mothefucking dodgy Destroyer that also caused damage to her own fleet due to an accident.
(Custom character)

Jalern as Margaret Shaw, Torpedo-chan's Chafferer Destroyer.
(Custom character)

It is a marvelous fleet that has yet to lose any battles, and it is sure to grow even stronger in the future. If you have TTS, free time and what not, you are welcome to join the fleet, of course.

Well, that is the overall, general description, I'll now proceed to write down here summaries of the game sessions and missions accomplished by the Maizuru Raid Investigators Fleet during their time serving at Naked Dragon Harbor.


The three new members of the recently formed Maizuru Raid Investigators Fleet, arrive at the Naval Base they will be calling home from then on.Wasting no time sightseeing, they head directly for the Admiral's office to report their arrival.

When they arrive at the office and just seconds before knocking on the door, the three shipgirls hear someone shouting inside the room, two voices seem to be talking inside, and one of them seems to be quite agitated as this person seems to have lost some kind of important document. Faced with the choice to politely knock and come in or secretly eavesdrop on their conversation, the shipgirls decide to...
They successfully listen to the conversation inside the room, but by the looks of it, it's something quite different from what they had expected. The Admiral had seemingly misplaced her favorite Doujin and she was frantically looking for it around the office, Nagato meanwhile was trying to calm her down with no success. After a moment, the Admiral decides that maybe the misplaced doujin is somewhere else, so she sends Nagato to a likely place. She then starts walking towards the door, where our shipgirls are, listening to their conversation. Luckily, they were fast enough to move away from the door and appear innocent.

Nagato notices them waiting outside the office and knowing the reason of their presence, she invites them to come in. The Admiral, even though she was hysterically looking for her doujin a second ago, was now sitting on her table, examining the newcomers. The doujin could wait, it was new shipgirl time.

After a short welcome speech, Nagato is tasked with taking the three girls to their rooms in the barracks, however, it would seem there's only one left for all of them, and possibly for any new members of the fleet that may come later. Not a problem anyway.

Night comes and our shipgirls go to bed for the first time in this their Naval Base. During that first night, each of them has a curious dream:

Yuubari has the following dream: It's dinner time. A delicious-looking feast is laid out before you. You eat and eat but the food never runs out. You want to eat until you explode. More and more.

Lady Roberta Dicksalot has the following dream: You swore an oath. “After this battle...” With those words, you took their hand and made a promise. Did you keep your word? Like the words of your promise, they slip from your hand...

Margaret Shaw has the following dream: A family portrait. In your dream, you went to visit your family. As you left, they told you to try your hardest. For them, the ones who worked so hard to raise you.

With those dreams, the three girls spent their first night, and with that, their first full day at Naked Dragon Harbor began.


During these first hours of the day, the three shipgirls improved their relationship with each other and participated in a series of accidental and somewhat planned events.

During the first one, Lady Roberta Dicksalot discovered that she had a dangerous obssession with Ice-cream, so much that she could barely contain herself and eat as much as she could, she tried to get rid of this obsesion of hers, but in the end, the obssession won, and her relationship with the rest of the shipgirls worsened a bit.

Meanwhile Margaret Shaw spent her time fishing, but truth be told, she actually fished nothing and her failure just costed her valuable energy and the naval base some valuable fuel, a shame indeed.

After this, Yuubari had a happy accident with Margaret Shaw's Torpedo-chan, an event in which this torpedo bonked on her head, and if it hadn't been a happy accident, she could have died right there from a possible explosion, she, however was able to handle it well and took it as nothing more than an accident, what actually made everyone else see her in a better light.

The shipgirls were going about their business in the base, when suddenly, the speakers started shouting a warning and a call for mobilization, apparently a possible scouting fleet from the Abyssals had maded its way to the perimeter of the base. The Maizuru Raid Investigators fleet is ordered to look for and intercept this hostile fleet as soon as possible and so or courageous shipgirls leave for battle.



Their sortie begins and it is not long before they spot a dark silhouette in the horizon, most likely an enemy ship, the fleet prepares for battle.

The enemy turns out to be a lone I-class destroyer. Probably scouting ahead of the rest of the fleet.
The destroyer is dealt with swiftly, the combined forces of the allied fleet quickly sink the enemy destroyer and the fleet advances, looking for the rest of the scouting fleet. They recover fie units of fuel from the sunk ship.

During their mission they get caught in a Whirlpool, where they have to use up five units of fuel in order to escape it safely.

They continue on with their mission, until they find the rest of the scouting fleet, which turns out to be made of two I-class destroyers and one Ha-class destroyer leading the fleet. The battle drags on past the first shelling phase, during this phase Yuubari received one hit due to accident on its cannons, however, this doesn't stop her from fighting, and once Lady Roberta and Margaret had dealt with the two I-class destroyers and night had come, she unleashes a massive attack on the Ha-class destroyer, so strong that even if it hadn't received damage before, it would have been completely obliterated, OVERKILL. They gather a rather generous amount of resources from the defeated fleet.

With that, the allied fleet achieves victory in their first mission by successfully defeating the enemy scout fleet. Once they get back to base, they are properly congratulated by Admiral Yuri on a job well done, however, she also tells them to stay on their guard, for a scout fleet could mean that there was something more dangerous coming after them.



Just as before their mission, the shipgirls take their time to relax around the base and get ready for any possible battles that might happen in the future.

Durting their relax time, Yuubari take some time to rest at the docks and heal from the hit she received in the previous battle.

Meanwhile, Lady Roberta has had quite a fun time reading some doujins that she found around the base, most likely forgotten by the Admiral, this, however, gives her an idea. And a pretty curious one, as she may have come up with a possible new game to play with everyone, this is no ordinary game, since it seems to contain elements of yuri, mindbreak and rape. She tries to come up with the best way to make the game work and show it to everyone, but she eventually fails, losing some faith in herself.

Yuubari, after relaxing in the docks, takes some time to reminisce with torpedo-chan, talk about past times and experience, they don't seem to have too much in common though, so their talks actually don't bring up anything interesting and this makes Yuubari's relations with everyone else worsen.

Margaret in the meantime is doing some target practice, something at which she succeeds and this grants her some improved accuracy during that day.


The speakers' sound is heard once again across the base, it would seem Admiral Yuri was right, there was a bigger enemy fleet heading for the base now. The Maizuru Raid Investigators Fleet is sent to fight the enemy and stall them until reinforcements arrive and they can get help.


The enemy fleet this time consisted of two Ro-Class Destroyers, one Ho-Class light cruiser and one Nu-class light Carrier, the last one being an elite leading the fleet. The enemy fleet, while outnumbering the allied fleet, lacked on shipgirls, and that was probably the reason of their poor performance.

The mission of the allied fleet was to take down the enemy flagship if possible, that light carrier could be a problem.

And so the battle began with the light carrier launching several squadrons of bombers and torpedo bombers, of which only one squadron actually got close to hitting anything in the opposing fleet. That “anything” was actually Lady Roberta Dicksalot, but she actually nimbly dodged the bombing run.
The Shelling phase began after this, and the allied fleet and abyssal fleet started exchanging fire, during the exchange, Lady Roberta suffered a mechanical accident that caused a explosion that deal 1 point of damage to both her and Margaret Shaw.

The first shelling phase ended with the enemy fleet heavily damaged and the allied fleet almost completely untouched. During the shelling phase, the Ho-class light cruiser was taken down and sunk to the depths of the ocean. The ships then kept exchanging blows until the torpedo phase began, and this time, in order to complete the mission the allied fleet fired all of its topedoes at the enemy carrier, sinking it after an absurd barrage. Faced with the option of continuing with the battle with a night operation, the fleet chooses to withdraw, for their objective was complete and the remaining enemy destroyers were too damaged to pose any threat to them.

They acquire absurd amounts of resources from the sunk ships and head back to base.

The allied fleet is then welcomed back at the base and everyone in the base actually congratulates them on a job well done. Even Admiral Yuri is there to greet them. But even though the situation was quite happy, there was something bothering the Admiral, and that was the fact that a Nu-class could actually get so close, that could mean the abyssal fleet was now taking them seriously and battles would get tougher and tougher from there on out.




  • torpedo chan < 3

    I'd like to think my character was either:
    i - completely and utterly ignored the entire time
    ii - the unfortunate mortal vessel for torpedo chan's divine will
    [7:45 pm] Kerlc: Being a cuck is great'
    Futanari Loli Nazi Succubus Squad ~☆「Sieg Heil」 Your Heart Into Ecstasy!!
  • Posts: 0

    Lady Roberta was mostly useless during this session, but that's because I am terrible at rolling dice.
    [12:49] William "Tankman": yuri loli spaceshipgirls
    [15:42] Jalern: I want to fuk r63 loli mao
  • image
    [7:45 pm] Kerlc: Being a cuck is great'
    Futanari Loli Nazi Succubus Squad ~☆「Sieg Heil」 Your Heart Into Ecstasy!!
  • edited June 2016 Posts: 0
    Kerlc said:

    Lady Roberta was mostly useless during this session, but that's because I am terrible at rolling dice.

    Stop being a casual then and roll like me to deal 21 damage!
    "I am sorry but if you don't like cake you're literally hitler
    Like I'm pretty sure an entire chapter of Mein Kampf is all about how much he loathes cake" - Kerlc, 2016

    [3:35:15 AM] Kerlc: they have boobs
    [3:35:18 AM] Kerlc: but they still have 12

    [10:00:19 AM] Kerlc: I actually prefer the penetration
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